RABBIT'S PH.D. THESIS:
A PARABLE FOR GRADUATE STUDENTS

Scene: It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.
Fox: What are you working on?

Rabbit: My thesis.

Fox: Hmmm. What's it about?

Rabbit: Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes.

(incredulous pause)
Fox: That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes.

Rabbit: Sure they do, and I can prove it. Come with me.

They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After a few minutes, the rabbit returns, alone, to his typewriter and resumes typing.

Soon, a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.

Wolf: What's that you're writing?

Rabbit: I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves.

(loud guffaws)
Wolf: You don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?

Rabbit: No problem. Do you want to see why?

The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow, and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.

Scene: Inside the rabbit's burrow. In one corner, there is a pile of fox bones. In another corner, a pile of wolf bones. On the other side of the room, a huge lion is belching and picking his teeth.

THE END

Moral

It doesn't matter what you choose for a thesis subject.
It doesn't matter what you use for data.
What does matter is who you have for a thesis advisor.

You can send Traister e-mail concerning this page at traister@pobox.upenn.edu.

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